One of the simple pleasures of life is treating yourself to a relaxing day at the salon…getting a little “me-time” and leaving looking great and feeling stylish with your confidence and self-esteem renewed…
Unless you are an INTROVERT!!!
For a true introvert, planning and executing a trip to the salon can be a dreaded nightmare, that you put off as long as possible, or avoid altogether!
Extroverts won’t get the following list AT ALL, or other introvert problems for that matter, but I am betting that if you are a die-hard introvert, you will totally relate to...
How an Introvert Gets a Haircut:
1. First, get up the courage to call to make an appointment.
This could take quite a bit of time and energy in itself, as one thing introverts hate even more than going to the salon is making a phone call.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Be sure to read How an Introvert Makes a Phone Call.
2. Chicken out a day later and call to cancel said appointment.
(If you can cancel through email or their website, all the better!)
3. Kick yourself mercilessly for canceling your hair appointment.
Now you are going to be stuck with this mess of a thing called ‘hair’.
4. Get up the courage all over again to make another appointment.
Again, this will take quite a bit of time and energy (see point #1.) In fact, this second call may be even more anxiety inducing, as you will worry that perhaps you will end up talking to the same person you talked to before, and that person will remember you, and will then think poorly of you for scheduling, canceling, and then scheduling again.
5. Stay awake the night before your appointment.
Worry about everything that could go possibly wrong, that would result in suffering and/or extreme embarrassment.
6. Spend the morning of your appointment debating on what to wear.
It needs to be something that won’t make you swelter in the trapped heat of that despised plastic apron. It also cannot have a collar, as that may not fit under the apron and end up full of itchy hair clippings, aggravating your sensitive neck.
It must also be something fairly chic, as you want to give the impression to the stylist that you are fashionable and not a fraud, masquerading as someone who is used to getting stylish haircuts.
7. Make sure you put your contacts in.
You don’t want to experience that awkward moment when you don’t know where to put your glasses during the haircut, or to have to gropingly find them again so you can actually see to preview the results.
8. Debate on whether to wear makeup or not.
You don’t want your foundation to make a mess on their fancy salon towels after they shampoo your hair, but at the same time, you don’t want to look like a freak or someone suffering from the plague.
Decide on eye makeup and a light dusting of powder.
9. Try to appear confident to the receptionist.
You don’t want her to get clued in to the fact that you do not go to the salon regularly and are basically an uncouth ‘hair heathen’.
10. Ditto for the stylist, until you realize that that won’t fly with her, because all it takes is one look at your hair to know the truth.
Cultured, educated, expert hairstylists are basically omniscient, so there’s no use trying to fool them. You would ask them what the winning lottery ticket number is, but that would result in unnecessary small-talk, so you pass.
11. Explain, with much stuttering and stammering under extreme scrutiny , why it has been so long since your last haircut.
Kids, work, homeschooling, illness, budget, preventing the apocalypse, etc…really, the possibilities here are endless.
12. After being solemnly taken back to “The Chair,” awkwardly look for where to place your purse.
Do you clutter up her sacred work space with your piece of junk? Put it on the floor where it will become covered in your own hair clippings? Oh, the dilemma.
13. Uncomfortably allow the stylist to place that stifling plastic apron around your neck.
You finally understand the concept of the “Greenhouse Effect” from high school and you start to wonder if anyone has ever died due to black plastic apron heat exhaustion.
14. Awkwardly try to explain how you want your hair cut.
End up nonchalantly saying, “Oh, just style it the way you think best,” because you honestly have no clue.
15. Close your eyes and try to pretend that some stranger is not violating your personal space and touching your hair.
No explanation needed here.
16. Now the really hard part comes…small talk.
Do you attempt it? Forego it and pretend that you just enjoy comfortable silence? But then what if you have a talkative stylist? And she starts asking really inane questions, like how many kids you have, and what your big plans for the weekend are.
You decide to just answer the best you can, even if your answers shock the stylist, or come out sounding even more lame than her questions, by replying with, “I have 7 kids, and I am cleaning the house this weekend.”
17. After the cut is over, and the stylist asks your opinion, smile and say it looks great, even if you absolutely hate it.
Because seriously, you just want out of there as fast as humanly possible.
18. Realize with horror that now you have to tip.
How much? You were a National Merit Finalist, so why oh why is your mind now drawing a blank at basic math skills? And how? Do I just lay a wad of cash on her booth, or do I add it onto my credit card? You decide to pay at the register, but worry that you calculated the wrong amount and your name will be blacklisted at all the salons in town.
19. Smile and thank the receptionist, then high-tail it out of there.
You walk briskly to your vehicle while, strangely, the national anthem begins to play in your head and you hear Mel Gibson shout, "FREEEEEEDOM," in a Scottish accent.
20. Don’t come back for a long, long time.
Are you an introvert who hates haircuts? Wish you never, ever, had to go to the salon again…like ever? Then you absolutely MUST check out my tutorial on how to easily cut your own hair in layers in only like 5 minutes! Seriously! You will be eternally grateful and thank me profusely! This is one introvert problem that has an easy solution!
One of my absolute favorite books for introverts!
I hope you enjoyed learning how an introvert gets a haircut!
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